By Katie Clelland ’21
Moving across the country, renting a new apartment, traveling abroad for work, adopting a pet, finding new friends or new relationships—these are the images recent college grads see of their peers across social media. But for Brittanee Okamura ’19, who is sitting in her childhood bedroom, the images on social media and her lived reality aren’t in alignment. “I always thought that post-college life would be the epitome of adulthood,” Okamura says, but in actuality, her current circumstances lead her to eat a meal with her parents every night after her day job as she simultaneously applies to medical school.
“Adulting”—the slang term currently used to describe the act of taking on the responsibilities and characteristics of an adult—is drastically different now than what it was throughout much of the twentieth century, when teens were pushed into adulthood once they graduated high school. Adults got married, secured full-time jobs, and bought their first houses at a much younger age than today. In a recent CNN article, Professor of Psychology at San Diego State University and prominent social theorist about generational differences Jean Twenge notes that teens today are “delaying the responsibilities and pleasures of adulthood” due to the US culture of a “slow life strategy.” Families are spending more time cultivating each child’s growth and development. And the financial realities of today make the trappings of adulthood not as attainable as they used to be.
Inspired by their struggles to both define and navigate adulthood, three Scripps College alumnae, Okamura, Annalise Ko ’19, and Kimi Kaneshina ’20, launched the Adulthood Pending Podcast for college students, recent graduates, or anyone else who is also figuring out that being an adult is not as simple as it is made out to be. With over 1,000 downloads to date, the desire for this type of content is clear.
Today, adulting isn’t just about learning how to mortgage a house or filing your own taxes, it’s a psychic shift into a new reality and new social structures; it’s “carving your own path. It is a time to worry about what is most important to you, to be selfish and do what you want to do to find the best you,” says Kaneshina.
In their first episode, “Wait, So I’m an Adult Now?”, they talk about what adulthood means to them and ask the question “How is our perception of adulthood shaped by the society we live in?” “We hope our audience knows they are not alone and are not the only ones struggling. I thought my friends were doing great, but their true feelings as seen on social media weren’t portrayed to the world. Our podcast strives to normalize messing up and provides examples showing it is okay to make mistakes,” states Okamura. Ko adds, “Social media can make you feel lost when all you see is the good and positive things in peers’ lives. Our episodes share stories highlighting both the good and the bad. It is important to share the times when you make mistakes, too.” They emphasize that there is no one path to adulthood.
“We didn’t want our podcast to just be three friends talking. We wanted it to have a purpose, and adulting was a subject we were currently living, so it really was an obvious choice,” states Ko. They try to address what they see as the deeper aspects of adulting: “We try to focus more on the aspects of adulthood that people don’t talk about—the more difficult subjects such as outgrowing friendships. We want people to know they are not the only ones going through these experiences alone.” For example, Ko’s favorite episode is on the subject of loneliness and mental health, especially when entering adulthood. “Many people don’t realize that adulthood can be very lonely, and it’s important to talk about these taboo subjects.”
Other episodes have covered subjects such as political opinions and navigating what it feels like to use emotional labor to explain perspectives to people who might disagree and even subjects such as long-distance dating or financial advice. As their podcast continues to grow, they hope to feature more guest speakers, especially experts in specific fields or experiences. For example, alum Rena Patel ’19 recently served as a guest on the episode “The Path to Becoming an Author.”
The trio wants to change the meaning behind adulthood to be one that reflects modern-day culture. “We define adulthood as the time in your life filled with the most change, growth, and ambiguity,” states Ko.
Kaneshina explains, “We want to share our identities and our own experiences while also giving advice to help encourage and support those who also feel like they are struggling with or uncertain of their futures. Ultimately, we want to ensure that people feel heard through our experiences.”
Ko, Okamura, and Kaneshina met while enrolled at Scripps, where they became friends when serving as members of the Asian American Sponsor Program (AASP), later becoming suitemates. Now, as they navigate their post-college lives, they use these personal stories and anecdotes as subjects for their podcast. Currently, Ko works and lives in Boston as a software engineer at a tech company; Okamura works as medical scribe and barista while simultaneously applying to medical school; and Kaneshina was recently hired on as a marketing associate at a tech firm.
From these three ambitious women’s meaningful undertakings comes an inspiring message: Adulthood is pending, but the process is part of the fun.